Toad Sage's Mansion
by SuouTamakiLover
Summary: What will happen when teams seven, eight, ten, Sand and Gai are forced to compete on Konoha's first ever game show, "Toad Sage's Mansion"? Jiraiya is behind it…so expect pure chaos.
1. Prologue

**Author's note:** For new readers, this is a story I started a few years ago that I've decided to rewrite. I have my fair share of free time, so I'll try to update promptly. Chapters which were already written will be posted faster; as they'll just be tweaked.

This is basically a Naruto version of "Big Brother". The characters are OOC on purpose—I'm merely trying to be hilarious.

I hope you enjoy!

* * *

Title: Toad Sage's Mansion

Rating: T (or PG-13)

Summary: What will happen when teams seven, eight, nine, Sand and Gai are forced to compete on Konoha's first ever game show, "Toad Sage's Mansion"? Jiraiya is behind it…so expect pure chaos.

Pairings: TemaShika, NejiTen [Other characters will have romantic moments; undecided about official]

Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto I wouldn't be writing this. It isn't mine.

Chapter One: Prologue

* * *

It was a beautiful day on the first day of June in Konoha. The birds were out and singing love songs, children were shouting "sorry!" for knocking down ramen stands, and phones were ringing.

_**Brrriiiinggggg**_

_**Brrriiiinggggg**_

The phones at the use-to-be gennin's apartments were ringing loudly. Teams seven, eight, nine, Sand and Gai were all being summoned to the Hokage's office. They were told they would all be receiving a mission. However, this wasn't an ordinary mission—rather, a _task_. This task was like no other. Jiraiya was behind it all, supposedly. The teams knew this could only mean chaos.

"TSUNADE!" An eighteen-year-old Naruto Uzumaki screeched, "What's this 'mission', and why are so many people here?"

Tsunade promptly threw an empty sake bottle at the boy's face which he narrowly dodged. "Shut up, idiot. I have summoned you all here to inform you that you've been given the opportunity to be on Konoha's first ever game show, invented by Jiraiya. It's called 'Toad Sage's Mansion'."

She rolled her eyes at the name and took a swig of sake, as everyone mumbled amongst themselves.

"Now," she began again, "the fourteen of you…wait a minute. Kankurou!"

"Hmm?" He pointed to himself in confusion.

"Leave."

"What?" Kankurou protested, "Why?"

Tsunade smiled, "Because, no one likes you. It's a fact. Besides, if you're here there will be too many people."

"Yeah?" Tears began to form in Kankurou's eyes, "Well…your mom!" he finished.

Temari scoffed and glared at the boy, "Bitch, please."

"FINE! I'LL LEAVE THEN!"

"Bye." The fourteen others said in unison. Kankurou crossed his arms and exited the room, defeated.

"Now," Tsunade said, regaining attention, "You will all show up here tomorrow with enough clothes and necessities to last you three months. Then, you will be escorted to the mansion by the host of the game show."

"Who's that?" Sakura asked.

"Kakashi."

"Kakashi-sensei?" Naruto yelled, nearly falling over.

"QUIET, IDIOT! Yes, Kakashi. Anyway. Once you get to the mansion, you will be informed of all the rules and guidelines of the game. Then, you will be escorted to your rooms. That is all. I'll see you tomorrow! Dismissed."

"Wait!" Naruto yelled again, "What if we don't want to do this?"

Tsunade smirked, "Well. Did I mention the winner of the game will get one billion yen? And, a lifetime supply of ramen?" She coughed and muttered to herself, "Actually, not the ramen, but…"

"LET'S DO IT!" Naruto screamed, yet again.

Sakura promptly punched him in the face, "Naruto! Don't be so loud."

"Hn, dobe." Sasuke interjected. "Come on. We have a lot of packing to do."

The remaining thirteen people nodded at Sasuke's words and filed out of the Hokage's office. Tsunade slumped over at her desk, knowing that nothing good could come from this.

"SHIZUNE!" she yelled frantically, "More sake! Now!"

* * *

**Team Seven's Apartment**

"This is so exciting!" Naruto proclaimed, adding various items to his suitcase.

"Yeah," Sakura hesitantly agreed, "But…this game show _was _created by Jiraiya…"

Sasuke visibly twitched at her words. Suddenly, Naruto gasped loudly.

"What, what?" Sakura asked.

"I almost forgot the ramen!" Naruto answered, grabbing as much of the instant noodles as he could in his arms. In fact, there was so much, the ramen needed its own suitcase.

Sakura sighed, "Well, hopefully Jiraiya won't make us do anything _strange_…Sasuke?"

Upon noticing Sasuke twitching uncontrollably on the ground, and Naruto shoving ramen into a suitcase, Sakura could only sigh.

* * *

**Team Eight's Apartment**

"THIS," Kiba laughed, "Is going to be _awesome_!"

"Y-yes. It sh-should be fun, K-Kiba-kun." Hinata slowly stuttered.

Shino simply nodded as Akamaru barked in agreement. Hinata smiled and went over to pat him softly on the head.

"Why in the name of God would Jiraiya make a game show?" Kiba asked aloud.

Hinata stiffened at Kiba's harsh words, while Shino nodded. Akamaru barked, making Hinata pick him up lovingly.

"W-will Akamaru be coming with us?" She asked.

"Nah," Kiba said, "I don't want Akamaru _anywhere _near Jiraiya."

"Yes, Mr. Bugglesworth…" Shino was sitting in a corner, talking to his housecat-sized cockroach, "This _will_ be an experience…"

Kiba's eyes widened.

* * *

**Team Ten's Apartment**

"I'm going to win this game show, no problem! Then Sasuke-kun will love me for sure!" Ino squealed.

"Not that I care…" Shikamaru interjected, "Because really, I don't. It's troublesome. But, didn't you get over that Uchiha?"

"Oh," Ino flipped her hair, "Oh, I did."

Shikamaru face palmed, "How troublesome…"

Chouji opened a bag of chips, in no way trying to mask the obnoxious sound. Ino stiffened.

"So, Chouji…" she slyly began, "What do you have there? Oooooh, it looks like some chips! Are you going to casually slip a few into my hand…"

"No." he immediately said. "Hey, weren't you on a diet anyway?" He began munching away at his delicious treat.

"…_What_ did you just say?"

Shikamaru buried his face in both of his hands.

"Are you implying…" Ino glared, "That I'm _FAT_?"

Chouji realized that he was in trouble and looked scared, "No! …_**no**_…I just—"

"ARE YOU SAYING THAT I'M NOT _BEAUTIFUL_?"

"N-no! Ino, you're one of the prettiest girls I know! I'm not—"

"ARE YOU SAYING," she inched closer towards him, "THAT I AM IN _NEED_ OF A DIET?"

"NO, NO, NO!" Chouji put both arms up to defend himself.

Ino lunged, "YOU'RE DEAD!"

Shikamaru looked bored, "…troublesome."

* * *

**Team Sand's Apartment**

"I don't see why _I_ can't go!" Kankurou whined, "And people do _so_ like me! I have fangirls! …don't I?"

"No." Gaara answered.

"Quit bitching, Kankurou," Temari replied with her usual sass, "You can sit here and watch Gaara and I on TV."

Kankurou crossed his arms, "Well, at least I'm not a slut." He mumbled under his breath.

Temari glared at him, "…_What_?"

"OH, GOD!" Kankurou yelled as he scrambled away.

"YEAH, OH GOD!" Temari yelled back, chasing him with her oversized fan.

Gaara sighed, "Idiots."

* * *

**Team Gai's Apartment**

"I _must_ win this game show to win Sakura-san's love!" Lee exclaimed happily.

Neji glanced at him, "It's completely hopeless. She'll never go out with _you._"

"Well, I think you're very much wrong, Neji! And to show my enthusiasm, I will run one thousand laps around Konoha! YOSH!" Lee replied, running for the door.

Tenten stepped in front of her over enthusiastic teammate, "Sorry, Lee. I don't think that's necessary. You should really save your energy for the game show." She said slowly.

"My!" he nodded, "What a youthful answer, Tenten!"

Tenten sighed and gave him a slight smile. Neji looked around with shifty eyes, and slipped a bottle of _Suave_ conditioner into his bag.

"I MUST PACK MR. FLUFFERBOTTOMS!" Lee yelled. He grabbed a small, blue stuffed Walrus and hugged it tightly before placing it in his suitcase.

"You're an embarrassment to our team." Neji plainly said.

Lee's smile faded as he slowly sunk down onto his bed, nodding. Tenten shot Neji a glare which would make any Uchiha jealous and went to comfort Lee.

"Tch," Neji was unimpressed, "I'm finished, so I'm going to bed. Goodnight."

Tenten closed her eyes and sighed.

* * *

**Author's note:** This was pretty much the same as the first time it was written. Please, review.


	2. Day One: Arrival

**Author's note:** Hopefully these next few chapters impress. Read and review!

* * *

Title: Toad Sage's Mansion

Rating: T (or PG-13)

Summary: What will happen when teams seven, eight, nine, Sand and Gai are forced to compete on Konoha's first ever game show, "Toad Sage's Mansion"? Jiraiya is behind it…so expect pure chaos.

Pairings: TemaShika, NejiTen [Other characters will have romantic moments; undecided about official]

Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto I wouldn't be writing this. It isn't mine.

Chapter Two: Day One: Arrival

* * *

**Day One**

Bright and early, the five teams made their way to the Hokage's office as requested, Kankurou included.

Tsunade groaned, "Kankurou! Leave! You are _not_ coming on this god damned game show!"

"But, _WHY_?" Kankurou bitched.

"As I said before," Tsunade twitched in anger, "No one likes you, you cat-head wearing _freak_!"

"Oh, snap!" Naruto said in the most ghetto voice he could muster, "TOLD!" He looked to his right only to see Kankurou being tossed out of the third story window.

Tsunade threw yet another sake bottle at Naruto's head, "Shut up!"

Suddenly, there was silence. Very uncomfortable silence. The teammates looked each other over, sizing up the competition.

"Yo," Kakashi said, poofing into the room from out of no where.

"YOU'RE LATE!" Sakura and Naruto both pointed a finger in his face.

"Well," he scratched his neck, "I got lost on the road of life."

"LIAR!"

"Oh, Sakura-san." Lee beamed at the rosette-haired beauty, "Your youthful yelling is extremely youthful! Please, be my girlfriend! I'll protect you until the day I die!"

"No." Sakura replied.

Ino snickered at her friend, loving the attention she was getting from Lee.

Lee gasped, "Ino! Your youthful snickering is ever so youthful! Please, be my girlfriend! I'll protect you until the day I die!"

"Wh-what?" Ino yelled, red in the face.

"Tch, troublesome." Shikamaru lazily said.

"Lee, please settle down." Tenten muttered to Lee. He enthusiastically nodded and shuffled closer to Ino, who immediately shuddered.

"Hn." Sasuke and Neji muttered in unison. They slowly glared at each other.

"Well, let's go then." Kakashi said with a sigh, clearly wanting to get this thing over with.

* * *

The fourteen teenagers plus Kakashi arrived at an astoundingly large mansion. Sasuke and Neji appeared to be visibly surprised—it definitely made their mansions look tiny.

"_How could Jiraiya make __**this**__ much money?_" Naruto wondered to himself, then snickered, "_Oh, yeah. Icha Icha Paradise…_"

Upon entering the mansion, Kakashi said, "Take a seat." His voice sounded like that of a typical cheesy game show host, which made many of the contestants smirk.

Sakura noticed that Kakashi even went as far to wear a tuxedo with a bowtie, and burst out in uncontrollable laughter, "HAHAHAHA! Oh my god, ha!" Everyone else in the room raised an eyebrow at the girl.

"I'm sorry," She said, "It's just…the bowtie…Kakashi-sensei would never…I mean…"

They continued to stare.

"You know what? Shut up!" Sakura crossed her arms.

Kakashi coughed to regain attention, "Now, here's how this game works. You will participate in challenges weekly to receive points. People who come in first will receive the most amount of points, people who come in last will receive the least amount, and so on.

"At the end of the week, the two people with the least amount of points will be put up for eviction from this mansion. The person with the most votes from the rest of you will leave. There will be two challenges in a week; a team challenge and an individual challenge. Try to earn as many points as you can. Does everyone understand?"

Everyone nodded unenthusiastically, wanting to get this over with.

"Fantastic," Kakashi said with an eye roll, "Now, room assignments. Room one; Sasuke, Neji and Ino."

Ino smirked upon hearing Sasuke's name, but knowing that Neji would be there too ruined the excitement for her. The three gathered their bags and made their way down the hall to their room.

"Room two," Kakashi continued, "Kiba, Tenten and Naruto."

Tenten sighed. Two obnoxious boys? Just what she needed. They all proceeded to their room quickly.

"Room three; Hinata, Shikamaru and Lee."

"Troublesome," Shikamaru sighed.

The three started towards room three. Kakashi stopped Lee casually to hand him a small note.

"Read it alone," he instructed. Lee nodded and caught up with his roommates.

"Room four," Kakashi went on, "Sakura, Gaara and Chouji."

None of the three had a word to say as they started towards their room.

"Room five; Temari, Shino…and since we happen to have an empty spot…Mr. Bugglesworth?"

"Rrrrello." Mr. Bugglesworth rred.

Temari didn't say anything, but the grimace on her face was very clear. Shino and an oversized cockroach? Disgusting. She wasn't exactly fond of bugs.

Kakashi sighed, _"This is going to be a long three months, for sure._"

* * *

**Room One**

As the three entered the decently sized room, Ino squealed in delight. She immediately took notice of the three queen sized beds.

"_Tch,"_ Sasuke and Neji thought in unison, "_My bed is bigger than __**that**__…"_

"This one is **mine**!" Ino yelled, jumping onto the bed which was closer to the TV than the other two. Sasuke and Neji settled on the other two beds without a word.

The three started to unpack their belongings. They each were given a decent sized dresser, which no one was complaining about. Ino made her way into the bathroom, then poked her head out.

"Hey, guys," she laughed, "Who has _Suave?_"

Sasuke looked over at Neji who gave him a glare. They didn't say a thing.

Ino sighed, "Um, okay. Hey, Sasuke-kun! Want to go check out the rest of the house?"

"No." Sasuke replied, briskly exiting.

"Wait for me!" she yelled after him, but he slammed the door in her face. Ino heard rapid footsteps going down the hallway. "SASUKE!" She ran after him frantically.

When both of his roommates had left, Neji entered the bathroom and picked up his Suave conditioner. He sighed and placed it under the sink.

"_Nosey roommates…_"

* * *

**Room Two**

Tenten, Kiba and Naruto entered their room to find three small beds. Immediately, Naruto jumped for the one closest to the window. Unfortunately, so did Kiba. The two bonked heads.

"DUDE!" Kiba held his head in agony, "OUCH!"

"Uh…sorry?" Naruto replied.

"You know what? That sounds like you think you can beat me in a screaming contest!"

Naruto and Tenten blinked, "What?"

"GO!" Kiba continued, "AHHHH!"

Naruto squinted his eyes, "Um…ah?"

"No! Like you mean it! AHHHH!"

"…AHHH!"

"AHHHHHHHHH!"

"AH! AH! AH! AHHHH!"

"AHHHHHHHHH—"

"SHUT UP!" Tenten yelled, so loudly it made the entire mansion shake.

"Dudette…whoa…" Kiba slowly said.

"GOD!" She threw up her hands in frustration and left the room to explore.

"…hey Naruto."

"…yeah?"

"…she definitely has some problems."

"…yeah."

* * *

**Room Three**

Hinata, Shikamaru and Lee entered their room and looked around. There were three king-sized mattresses, along with three walk-in closets.

"HOLY YOUTH!" Lee exclaimed, unable to believe what he was seeing.

"Tch," Shikamaru rolled his eyes at Lee, "Troublesome."

Hinata placed her bag on one of the beds, "W-well. At least we have a-an alright r-room."

Shikamaru sighed. Hinata inwardly glared. This guy's attitude was really starting to get under her skin.

Lee entered the large bathroom, closed the door and locked it. He sat down and opened a note. It was some form of announcement:

_Congratulations, Rock Lee!_

_**You are Konoha's player! Your sole duty is giving Konoha what they want without fail. For all the rules of this secret opportunity, visit Kakashi in the secret room. Pushing on the bookcase in the living room will take you there. Good luck!**_

_Jiraiya_

Lee gasped with wide eyes. Konoha's player? What a youthful honor! He had to go tell his roommates! He noticed a backside to the note:

_**Also, you cannot tell anyone, or yell about this "youthful opportunity". Thank you!**_

Lee frowned.

* * *

**Room Four**

Sakura, Chouji and Gaara entered their room. There were three king-sized beds. Sakura squealed in delight while Gaara glared, and Chouji munched.

"I call the one by the TV!" Sakura said, placing her bag on it.

"No." Gaara continued to glare.

Sakura turned around slowly to face him, "What? Why?"

"That bed is mine."

"Um, I don't think—"

Gaara intensified his glare at the girl.

"That…I…want that bed anymore. Ha ha…" she finished, choking on her words. Just then, Kakashi walked by room four in his bowtie glory. Sakura turned to face him, "HAHAHAHAHA!"

Chouji even stopped his munching to look at her quizzically.

"You guys don't seem to realize that Kakashi-sensei—"

Kakashi poked his head in the room quickly, "Ex sensei." He reminded her, and left.

"…is wearing a _bowtie_!" Sakura exclaimed.

"Yeah, so?" Chouji said between bites.

Sakura sighed, "You know what? Shut up! …Again!"

Chouji shrugged and continued to eat his multiple bags of chips.

"Hey, Gaara?" Sakura asked.

"…"

"Gaara."

"…"

"Gaara?"

"…"

"G!"

"…"

"Ga?"

"…"

"Gaa…rrr…?"

"…"

"SUBAKU TO THE G?"

"WHAT?" Gaara finally replied, eyes blazing with anger.

Sakura flipped her hair, unimpressed with his tone, "Oh, _well_. Never mind." She strutted out of the room.

Gaara twitched and glared. Chouji chuckled at the situation, when Sakura came back into the room.

"Forgot my purse." She said simply. She grabbed it and flew from the room.

* * *

**Room Five**

Temari, Shino and…Mr. Bugglesworth entered their room. Temari gasped. On one king-sized bed, "Mr. Bugglesworth" was written in rhinestones.

"Roorrrd." Mr. Bugglesworth rrred.

"…what? Temari asked.

Shino pushed up his glasses, "He said 'word'."

"Oh…" Temari looked to the other two beds. Single, hard mattresses. She sighed, but started to unpack. Suddenly, she heard a cell phone ring.

"Rrrreelllo?" Mr. Bugglesworth answered his iPhone, "Rrrrroh. Rrrreeeyyy, rraaaaabe." He left the room.

Temari shuddered, "…why does he have a cell phone?" she asked hesitantly.

"He got one from his agent." Shino casually replied.

"…what—"

"Don't ask."

* * *

**With Lee…**

Lee entered the living room and saw the bookcase. He slowly pushed on it, and it turned—leading into the said secret room. The room was small, containing nothing else but a chair and television. He sat on the chair, unsure of what to do. The TV turned on suddenly. Kakashi was on the screen in his bowtie.

"Hello, Rock Lee." He said.

Lee nodded, "Hello…"

"Now, you've heard that you're Konoha's player." Kakashi continued, "It's definitely a privilege, but it comes with responsibility and rules."

Lee nodded his head again in understanding, ready to absorb the information.

"The most obvious rule. No telling anyone, and I do mean _anyone_ that you're Konoha's player."

"YES, OF COURSE!" Lee yelled.

"Well…that's about it for the rules." Kakashi smiled awkwardly, "Here's how it works. You will come in this room two times each week. The first time, I will give you a task. The second time, I'll tell you Konoha's choice, okay? Konoha will tell you what they want, and no matter what, you must follow through. Is that clear?"

Lee nodded once again.

"Now, your first task is…" Kakashi drew a piece of paper from a bowl, "To pour six month old milk on someone's clothing! Ew, interesting."

Lee nodded yet again, and twitched.

"Okay, you're dismissed." Kakashi waved his hand as the TV shut off.

"YOSH!" Lee exclaimed as he stood up. He left the room, excited that he was given this honor.

In another room, Kakashi face palmed. This really would be a long three months.

* * *

**Author's note: **Konoha will be you, my reviewers! So please, review! Who should Lee pour disgusting, old milk on? You decide!


	3. Day Two: First Challenge

**Author's note:** Read and review, people! Reviews make me happy.

* * *

Title: Toad Sage's Mansion

Rating: T (or PG-13)

Summary: What will happen when teams seven, eight, ten, Sand and Gai are forced to compete on Konoha's first ever game show, "Toad Sage's Mansion"? Jiraiya is behind it…so expect pure chaos.

Pairings: TemaShika, NejiTen [Other characters will have romantic moments; undecided about official]

Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto I wouldn't be writing this. It isn't mine.

Chapter Three: Day Two: First Challenge

* * *

**Day Two**

_7:30am_

Everyone in Toad Sage's Mansion was waking up to the sound of their alarms, when suddenly they received…an awakening. The deafening voice of Kakashi could be heard through the speakers each of the contestants had in their rooms:

"HEY, EVERYONE!" he yelled, "In an hour, get your ugly asses down to the living room for a _very _important message! Thank you, carry on."

There was a groan from each of the house guests in unison. However, one thing Kakashi didn't know was that he was disturbing the sleep of girls. Girls who were on their "time of the month". At the same time.

* * *

**Room One**

_7:35am_

There was another groan from Sasuke and Neji as they heard Ino get out of bed. She slowly walked over to the mini fridge and opened it.

"MOTHER OF GOD," she suddenly yelled. She turned around to face the two sleeping boys, "WHO ATE MY GRAHAM CRACKERS?"

When Sasuke and Neji didn't budge, Ino got angry. "HELLO?" She went over to Sasuke and grabbed him by the throat. She was so enraged she didn't even notice that he was topless.

"WAS IT YOU?" Ino yelled in his face. Sasuke frowned. "WAS IT?"

"No." Sasuke simply said, "Let go of me, woman."

Ino smiled, "Mmkay!" she said cheerfully. She softly placed Sasuke back on his bed, continuing to beam. Sasuke was weirded out. Is this some kind of a joke? Ino turned to Neji, still smiling. Just as soon as it came, it was gone. An ugly scowl was on Ino's face.

"WAS IT YOU, PRETTY BOY?" She stomped over to the Hyuuga, "DID YOU EAT MY GRAHAM CRACKERS?"

"No." Neji replied, trying Sasuke's way out. Ino turned away from him slightly, tears in her eyes.

"I'm sorry, Sasuke-kun," she whimpered, "I'm just so…"

Sasuke blinked. Ino's tears disappeared and were replaced by a grin.

"Okay, who wants to be bestest pals forever?" She hugged herself and laughed.

Sasuke and Neji's eyes widened, "I'm going to shower." They said in unison. They glared at each other and made their way down to the shower room.

Ino frowned, "But…WHO'S GOING TO TELL ME HOW PRETTY I AM?" She wailed, "NEJI! I THOUGHT WE WERE GOING TO BRAID EACH OTHERS' HAIR!"

Immediately, Neji was standing in the door frame—eyes wide, "You…you swore you would never…"

Ino raised an eyebrow at him.

Neji sighed, "I'm going to shower." He left the room.

* * *

**Room Two**

7:35am

Naruto and Kiba emitted a sound between a whine and a groan. Tenten was shaking with anger. She was beyond mad. Why? No particular reason, really. Naruto slowly got up and made his way to the bathroom when he tripped on something. He picked it up to see what it was…

"Tampons…?" He slowly said, reading the box. "What's a…tampon?"

Kiba yawned, "Dude?" He walked over to Naruto, "What are you doing?"

"Kiba…what's a tampon?"

Naruto scowled when Kiba laughed in his face.

"Dude, please." He continued to laugh, "They're for nosebleeds! _Everyone_ knows that!"

Naruto shook his head, "Hey! I knew that too. I was just testing you!"

"Right, right…" Kiba laughed again.

"Hey, guys." Tenten stretched and walked over to the two, "What are you…" She noticed what Naruto was holding and her eyes widened, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THOSE?" Her eyes were blazing.

Naruto and Kiba looked to each other, searching an answer. When they couldn't think of one, they knew they had to get out of there. Naruto threw the tampon box at Tenten and ran from the room. Tenten…exploded, as they ran away in slow-mo.

"KIBA!" Naruto was gasping for air, "WE'RE NOT GOING TO MAKE IT!"

"YES, WE WILL!" Kiba yelled back, running as fast as he could.

Naruto looked back and saw a raging Tenten catching up to them, "IT'S GAINING ON US, MAN!"

"SHUT UP! WE'LL MAKE IT!"

"NO, WE WON'T—"

Kiba gritted his teeth, "YES, WE WILL!"

"GET YOUR ASSES BACK HERE!" Tenten yelled, her arms flailing in all directions.

"Oh, shit." Kiba said. He looked back to Tenten, whose eyes were red in anger. "DUDE," he yelled to Naruto, "HIT THE DECK!"

Naruto and Kiba dove in slow-mo. They hit the ground and slid. Kiba sighed in relief.

"Um, Kiba…" Naruto said, panic in his voice, "Tenten is still RUNNING TOWARDS US!"

Kiba covered his face with both of his hands, "Naruto. I just want you to know, before we die…I have always wondered how your hair is so yellow. Really, man. It's crazy."

Naruto smiled, "Oh, dude. It takes a lot of work. Since we're going to die anyway, I think you should know that if I were gay…"

"Stop right there." Kiba said.

Tenten had finally almost caught up to the boys. They flinched, anticipating their death. Suddenly, Tenten started to walk past them.

"Hey guys. I'm going to shower, okay?" She gave them a peace sign and continued walking.

Naruto and Kiba looked at each other in disbelief, before muttering "Women." And collapsing in exhaustion.

* * *

**Room Three**

_7:35am_

Shikamaru was unaffected by Kakashi's yelling, so he was sleeping soundly. Hinata and Lee, however, were up and alert. Hinata especially.

"YOSH!" Lee ran over to the window. He took in a long, deep breath and smiled, "Another youthful day is among us!"

"Shut. Up."

Lee looked over at Shikamaru who was still asleep. Well, who else could of said it? He looked to Hinata, whose face looked extremely unimpressed. Lee didn't know what to say.

"What?" Hinata spat out, "I can't speak up once and a while? Let me tell you something about you that _you don't know_. You're an obnoxious, annoying, ridiculous freak. I have to listen to you spew energetic nonsense for the next three months, everyday. If you start with that "youthful" crap with me, I swear to God, I will_ not_ hesitate to hurt you. Is that clear?"

Lee gulped and nodded. He hadn't felt this scared in a long time.

"Good." Hinata turned her attention to Shikamaru, "And YOU! You're the laziest person I've ever met. Seriously. Who says "troublesome" all the time? The only thing "troublesome" is YOU! RIGHT LEE!"

"Y-yes," Lee said, "I agree w-with Hinata-san."

Hinata nodded and threw the bed sheets off of Shikamaru, "Get your lazy ass up!"

Shikamaru rubbed his eyes, "Hey, troublesome woman. I'm trying to sleep."

"_Oh._" Hinata put a hand on her forehead, "Well, then that's all right. I'm ever so sorry." She promptly walked to the bathroom and filled the tub with ice cold water. She returned to Shikamaru's bed, grabbed him, and took him to the bathtub. She threw him in with a smirk.

Shikamaru gasped for air, "What the hell?"

"Not so nice, IS IT?" Hinata clasped her hands together, "But it will happen every day if you decide to be a lazy ass. Now clean yourself up, you're a mess. We have a challenge to do this afternoon." She walked out of the bathroom and into the hallway. "Let's go, Lee."

Lee looked to the bathroom, then back at Hinata, "B-but…"

"I SAID LET'S GO!" Hinata snapped her fingers.

"Y-yes…" Lee followed the hormonal girl out of the room, head hung in shame.

Shikamaru growled. What a troublesome woman. That's all she was.

* * *

**Room Four**

_7:35am_

_Shuffle, shuffle…_

The only sound Gaara and Chouji heard as they awoke. Gaara felt some pressure on his hand. Upon looking down, he noticed Sakura painting his nails. His eyes widened. Not only was she painting his nails. She was painting his nails _pink_.

"WHAT IN THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?" Gaara yelled, yanking his hand from Sakura's grasp.

"Painting your nails." She replied, "Since Chouji's done, it's your turn."

Gaara looked over to Chouji and noticed his nails were painted purple. He gritted his teeth, "You can _stop_ now."

Sakura smirked, "What if I don't 'wanna?" She childishly said in a sing-song tone.

Gaara put his face a centimeter away from hers, "**I'll hurt you.**" He growled.

Sakura's bottom lip trembled. She started to cry loudly, "WAAAAAAAH! Gaara, you're mean!" With her chakra enhanced fist, she punched Gaara in the face. Sadly, his sand let him down and didn't protect him from the blow. He was sent flying into the wall. Sakura covered her face with both hands, ran into the bathroom and slammed the door.

Gaara groaned, "I thought you were supposed to protect me…" He mumbled to his gourd.

"Sorry, boss." She replied.

Gaara sighed and walked over to Chouji's bed. He was about to inform him that his nails were painted when he heard…

"DUDE, HIT THE DECK!"

Gaara was confused. He walked to his room door only to see Kiba and Naruto jump to the floor a few feet away. He watched silently.

"Tenten is still RUNNING TOWARDS US!"

"Naruto. I just want you to know, before we die…I have always wondered how your hair is so yellow. Really, man. It's crazy."

Gaara tilted his head, "_His hair __**is**__ unusually yellow…_"

Tenten caught up to the boys and Gaara expected the worst.

"Hey guys. I'm going to shower, okay?"

Gaara was confused. Wasn't she angry just seconds ago? Tenten walked by him.

"Hi, Gaara."

He nodded in acknowledgement. "Women." He heard Kiba and Naruto say. Gaara nodded again, and made his way down to the shower room, leaving Sakura in the bathroom alone.

Chouji woke up and noticed his nails, "Wow! My nails are so pretty!"

* * *

**Room Five**

_7:35am_

When Temari woke up, all she could hear was Shino snoring loudly, and Mr. Bugglesworth singing songs from the "Chicago" soundtrack in his sleep. She was getting very, very annoyed.

"SHUT UP!" She yelled, covering her ears.

The two woke up immediately and stared at her quizzically. With the new found attention, Temari started to bawl.

"I was…and then…and you…and…CARROTS!" She wailed.

Shino raised an eyebrow.

"WAFFLES!" Temari continued, "And I was like…I…UGH!"

Mr. Bugglesworth looked at Shino, almost as if telling him to intervene.

"Um," Shino began, "Are you okay?"

Temari looked up at him, her face soaked with tears, "Did Steve from Blue's Clue's go to college?"

Shino looked at Mr. Bugglesworth, "She's not okay." Temari continued to sputter nonsense, which caused Shino to sigh. "Come on, Mr. Bugglesworth. We're going to shower."

"Rrrrraaaayyyyy!" The cockroach exclaimed, happily following Shino.

"B-but…SHINO! SHINO!" Temari yelled.

He slowly came back into the room, "…yes?"

"I NEED SOMEONE TO HUG!"

"…"

Temari tackled Shino, hugging him tightly, "WHY WON'T YOU LOVE ME?"

"If you get off me, I'll love you." Shino replied in a monotone voice. He pushed up his glasses.

"…really?"

Shino nodded. Temari smiled from ear to ear and got off of him. He got up with his arms open…and quickly bolted for the door.

"SHINO!" Temari ran after him, crying again, "YOU SAID YOU WOULD LOVE ME!"

"I LIED!"

* * *

**Living Room**

_8:37am_

Once everyone had filed into the living room, Kakashi appeared on the large screen.

"Good morning!" He smiled and waved.

Everyone groaned, "Morning…"

"Now," Kakashi's face turned serious, "As you all know, we have two challenges a week. One as a team, and one individually. Today will be the first team challenge. All of you…wait, hold on a second. Where are Chouji and Sakura?"

Everyone looked around in confusion, except Gaara.

"_Ugh_."

* * *

**Room Four**

_8:38am_

"He said _what_?" Chouji exclaimed. After hearing Sakura crying in the bathroom for a good forty-five minutes, he had decided to intervene.

Sakura sniffed, "He got all up in my face, and was like, _I'll hurt you_. It was like, get out of my face! But I wasn't dealing with him, so I ran in here to the bathroom."

"Yeah," Chouji nodded, "I understand why you're upset. He didn't have the _right_ to talk to you like that."

Sakura nodded, "I know, right?"

Chouji offered his bag of chips to Sakura, "Potato chip?"

"Yeah, thanks." She took a few and munched happily, "You know what, Chouji? For the first time, I feel like I know you. You're such a good person. HUG!"

Sakura hugged Chouji, who awkwardly hugged her back. He knew _exactly_ what was going on. So, he treated her with the respect and love she needed, in an attempt to shut her up. It didn't work. Suddenly, a loud speaker could be heard.

"SAKURA AND CHOUJI!" Kakashi screamed into his microphone, "GET DOWN HERE. _NOW_!"

Chouji smiled at Sakura, "We'd better go."

She nodded, "I guess you're right."

"_FINALLY…_"

* * *

**Living Room**

_8:41am_

"Now," Kakashi said sarcastically as Sakura and Chouji sat, "Are we feeling better?"

Sakura nodded, "Almost! Gaara has to apologize."

Everyone looked at Gaara in anticipation. Temari smirked.

"_What_? I'm not apologizing." He said.

"But Gaara!" Sakura bitched, hugging Chouji's arm, "You made me _SAD_!"

"…"

"Please?"

"…"

"_Please_?"

"…"

"GAARA!"

"…sorry." He muttered, eyes blazing.

"What was that?" Sakura asked.

Gaara snorted, "I'm not repeating myself. I said sorry, and that's all you're going to get."

"YAY!" Sakura launched herself into Gaara's lap and hugged his neck, "Gaara loves me again!"

"_What_?"

Temari turned to Shino and started to cry. Again. "What about MY hug?" She yelled.

"Temari," Kakashi cut in, "Nobody cares if you want a hug, sweetheart."

"B-but—"

"But you want me to go on with my speech? Okay! As I said before, today you'll all be competing in the first team challenge. Now, if your team comes in first, you get fifteen points. Second place gets twelve points, third gets nine, fourth gets six and fifth gets three. In the individual challenge, the first three people to finish will get fifteen points, the next three will get twelve, and so on. Okay?"

Everyone nodded.

"Wonderful," Kakashi said, "The first team challenge is…a water challenge!"

There were a few groans, a few snorts and one "rrrrrrray"!

"Here's how the competition will go. There are five pools, one per team. Each pool has a maze. Two of the people in your team will go under water, one of which is blindfolded. The other person will be leading the blindfolded teammate through the maze. At the end of this maze, you'll find a treasure chest. This chest contains a secret message. The blindfolded teammate will remove said blindfold, and swim to the surface. The teammate who didn't go in the water will decode the message on land. First team to complete all of this correctly wins. Got it?"

When everyone nodded, Kakashi smiled. "Good. Meet in the backyard in exactly one hour to start the first challenge! Good luck to all! Especially you, Temari…"

"W-w-what?" Temari wailed.

All of the teams were conversing about the challenge. Strategies, who will go in the water, who is weaker on other teams, et cetera. Naruto noticed Hinata was looking a bit uneasy, so he happily approached her.

"Hinata, what's wrong?" He said.

Hinata's eyes softened, "Nothing, Naruto-kun."

"You didn't stutter!" Naruto gasped, clearly amazed.

Hinata smiled.

"And you didn't faint when I came near! Wow!"

"Okay, Naruto-kun."

"And you didn't turn red!"

"Naruto-kun…"

"And you didn't stutter! Oh wait, I already said that…"

Hinata twitched ever so slightly and placed her finger on Naruto's lips. "I think that's enough, Naruto-kun."

Naruto scratched the nape of his neck and laughed, "Sorry, haha…"

"Yeah." She walked away without another word.

Naruto sighed. "_This new Hinata is different…I like it_!"

Ino suddenly screamed, "SASUKE, NEJI! WHERE IS MY CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIE DOUGH? AND MY WHIPPED CREAM!"

"That's what she said." Naruto snickered

"DUDE!" Kiba yelled, running over. "THAT WAS AWESOME!" He and Naruto shared a high-five.

Naruto smirked and crossed his arms, "I know."

Ino's eyes flashed furiously, "I'm going to KILL you!"

"That's what HE said!" Naruto cut in again. He looked at Kiba, hand raised for a high-five.

Kiba frowned, "Dude, you ruined it."

"…sorry…"

"YOU'RE DEAD!" Ino yelled.

"EEP!" Naruto ran away as fast as he could.

"AHHHHHH!" A scream could be heard from the kitchen. Sakura emerged holding strawberry jam, pointing to a red stain on her shirt. "AAAAAHHHHHHH!" She yelled again, gesturing to the stain. "AHHHHHH!" She pointed at Gaara.

"…what?" He asked.

"YOUR NAME IS GAARA!"

"…"

"AHHHHH!" Sakura ran away to her room, crying hysterically.

Gaara visibly twitched.

"GOVERNMENT CAME AND TOOK MY BABY!" Temari wailed suddenly, rocking back and forth.

Gaara twitched again.

* * *

**Backyard**

**FIRST CHALLENGE: WATER MAZE**

_9:52am_

"Welcome to the first challenge of Toad Sage's Mansion!" Kakashi said. He was standing behind a podium that was set up to the left of the five pools.

"HAHAHAHAHA!" Sakura laughed, "YOU'RE WEARING A BOWTIE! THAT'S _HYSTERICAL_!"

Everyone looked at Sakura, clearly annoyed.

"_THINK_ about it, guys! A bowtie? Kakashi-sensei? …a BOWTIE?"

"Sakura, sweetie." Ino flipped her hair, "It isn't happening."

"WELL, FINE!" Sakura crossed her arms and pouted.

"Are we done?" Kakashi asked. "Okay. Now, you all know how this challenge works, so let's get to it. Team one, who's going in the water?"

"Sasuke and Neji." Ino said.

Kakashi nodded, "Okay. Team two?"

"Naruto and I." Tenten replied quickly. She didn't want to leave Naruto in charge of decoding the message.

"Alright, team three?"

"Shikamaru and Lee." Hinata said. When both boys looked at her, she glared. They looked away.

"Okay then. Room four?"

"Sakura and Chouji." Gaara said, not looking away from his spot on the ground.

"Alright! And lastly, room five?"

"Temari and I." Shino said. Temari turned to face her teammate, tears pouring down her face.

"WHAT? I DON'T WANT TO GET WET!" She wailed.

"Well, tough cookies." Shino pushed his glasses up. "Mr. Bugglesworth is decoding the message."

Temari continued to cry, muttering random words to herself. Kakashi coughed to get everyone's attention.

"Okay, teams!" He said, "Let's do this. Stand in front of your pool!"

They did as Kakashi said, in position to dive. Lee almost made many false starts, and was cursing about how the suspension was "un-youthful".

"And…" Kakashi held up a gun. "Go!" He shot it, and the ten teenagers dove.

There was silence for about three minutes. No one really knew what to say. There was no point in cheering, their teammates couldn't hear them. There were many sighs to be heard until Kakashi spoke again.

"Oh, dear god."

"Dude," Kiba said, "What is it?"

"Well…" Kakashi coughed, "The maze is about three quarters of the pool, and the chest is in the other quarter, at the end. There's a top covering the maze…they have no way to get out…if they run out of air before the end…"

Kiba, Gaara, Ino, Mr. Bugglesworth and Hinata looked into the water.

"Oh, snap!" Hinata said.

There was another awkward silence.

"Well, Jiraiya's getting sued." Kakashi said, face palming. Everyone else nodded with worried expressions.

Shikamaru and Lee were the first to surface. Lee was sputtering water and flailing. They handed Hinata the message quickly, and walked over to where Kakashi was.

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?" Shikamaru yelled, an inch away from the host's face.

"Hey," Kakashi pushed Shikamaru away, "I don't make the challenges, buddy. My job is to show up and look pretty—and I deliver."

"Ugh," Shikamaru sighed, "Trouble—"

"DON'T SAY IT!" Hinata yelled, still decoding the message.

Shikamaru crossed his arms in defeat. Lee was still coughing up water and fighting for air.

"THAT WAS SO NOT YOUTHFUL!" He gasped, clutching his throat.

"Well, sorry." Kakashi said.

Just then, Sasuke and Neji surfaced. Neji handed the message to Ino, and the two came over to join everyone else.

"Don't say it"! Kakashi bitched, "It wasn't my fault."

"…hn." The boys said in unison.

Sakura, Chouji, Tenten and Naruto emerged from the water, almost simultaneously. Sakura and Tenten handed the messages to their decoders and walked over to Kakashi.

"WHAT THE HELL, KAKASHI?" Naruto yelled.

Tenten pointed, "YOU COULD'VE HAD US KILLED!"

"I COULD HAVE BEEN EATING!" Chouji yelled.

"I could have been…UM. I COULD HAVE BEEN…" Sakura fumbled for words, "LAUGHING ABOUT YOUR BOWTIE!"

"Yeah, well." Kakashi shrugged. "I got lost on the road of life."

"…what—"

"Exactly."

Sakura pouted in confusion. Just then, Shino and Temari surfaced. Mr. Bugglesworth let out a 'rrrrrrray'! Shino pulled an unconscious Temari over to Kakashi after handing his cockroach the message.

"Look what you did." Kakashi shook his head, "Shame, shame."

"It wasn't my fault. She ran out of air." Shino protested in a monotone voice.

"Tsk, tsk."

"DUDE! DUDE, I'm finished!" Kiba yelled, frantically waving the message around.

Kakashi looked over Kiba's work and smiled, "Team two gets fifteen points!"

"DUDE! YEEEEES!" Kiba yelled again, exchanging a high-five with Naruto. "Dudette?" He looked to Tenten. "High-five?"

The weapon mistress sighed and gave her teammate a hesitant high-five.

"YES!" Kiba wrapped his arms around Tenten, "DUDETTE! WE ROCK!"

Tenten smiled, "Damn straight!"

"Rrrrrrrrrrroooonnnnneee!" Mr. Bugglesworth rrrred frantically. Kakashi walked over and inspected the insect's work.

"Team five gets twelve points!" Kakashi exclaimed.

"YEAH!" Temari yelled, almost taking her shirt off in excitement. "HIGH-FIVE, SHINO!"

When Shino hesitantly reached out to return the high-five, Temari started to cry.

"YOU COULD BE MORE ENTHUSIASTIC, JERK!"

Shino sighed.

"Hey, losers." Ino said. "I'm done."

Kakashi looked over her message, "Why, there you have it. Team one gets nine points."

Ino smiled. She exchanged high-fives with Sasuke and Neji, who appeared unimpressed.

"Done." Gaara said.

"Hmmm…" Kakashi inspected his message, "Yes! Team four, six points!"

"YAY!" Sakura hugged Gaara enthusiastically. "We didn't come in last!"

"Get. Off. Me." He roared.

"Well, fine!" Sakura yelled. She crossed her arms and stood next to her ex-sensei.

"I'm done." Hinata said.

"Even if it's not right," Kakashi said, "Team three gets three points."

"Bitch, please." She replied, sounding like Temari, "We deserve first place. But whatever. Let's go, Lee."

Lee looked confused, "B-but…g-go where, Hinata-san…"

"I SAID _LET'S GO_!"

"Y-yes…" Lee followed Hinata as she exited, head hung in shame.

The remaining contestants face palmed.

* * *

**Living Room**

_12:00pm_

After everyone had dried off and had some time to discuss how the challenge went, they all gathered in the living room. Sakura was the first to speak.

"I could have _died_!"

"Sakura-chan!" Naruto slipped an arm around her waist, "I would've saved you!"

Sakura promptly flicked him on the forehead. "Idiot." She left the room.

"NOOOOO!" Temari yelled, clutching a pillow.

"Hmm?" Shikamaru yawned, "What's wrong?"

"IT'S A RERUN OF THE BACHELORETTE AGAIN! All I want is for her to find true love! Even though it's fake! WAAAAH!"

"…I'm just going to leave." Shikamaru said, doing so.

Temari bawled as everyone else did the same.

* * *

**Room One**

_12:31pm_

Sasuke had gone for a walk in the garden, leaving Ino and Neji alone.

"Neji…" Ino began.

Neji looked at her expectantly.

"…you should wax your legs…"

"Tch, no."

"But Neji!" Ino sat next to him on his bed, "Tenten thinks guys with waxed legs are hot!"

"…really…"

Ino nodded frantically, "Yes! She told me the other day!"

Neji tilted his head and entered the bathroom. Ino started to snicker. "_Wait for it…_" She thought. A few seconds later…

_**RRRRRIIIIIPPPPPP**_

"OH MY GOD! THE PAIN! I'M BLINDED BY THE PAIN, SWEET MARSHMALLOW JESUS!"

Ino broke into a full on laugh. "Oh, Neji. You'll do anything for Tenten."

* * *

**Room Two**

_1:23pm_

"Dude! We totally came in first!" Kiba yelled, jumping onto his bed.

"I know, Kiba." Naruto said, "I was there."

"Right…"

Kiba looked to Tenten's bed. There sat…a bra! He snickered and went over to it. He picked it up, and put it on over his clothes.

"Ohhhh, look at me!" Kiba said, making the most realistic girl voice he could muster, "I'm a girl! Commitment! Shopping! Meeting my parents!"

Naruto fell over in laugher as Kiba continued. Suddenly, Tenten emerged from the bathroom.

"Kiba…" She said, her eyes glittering dangerously. "WHY ARE YOU WEARING MY BRA?"

"I am not _wearing your bra_." He reasoned, "I am simply…holding it against myself."

"_**Kiba**_…"

"I'm…hungry…" Kiba said. He threw Tenten's bra at her face and ran from the room.

"KIBA, I'M GOING TO KICK YOU SO HARD YOUR GRANDCHILDREN WILL FEEL IT!" Tenten ran after Kiba, yelling the whole way.

Naruto looked on Tenten's bed himself. He noticed…some panties! He blushed and went to reach for them.

"DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!" Tenten yelled from down the hallway.

Naruto quickly sat on his bed and whistled nervously.

* * *

**Room Three**

_2:53pm_

"We came in LAST!" Hinata yelled, collapsing on her bed.

"I know." Shikamaru said, his voice full of sass. "And we wouldn't have, if you had let me decode the message."

Hinata stepped toward Shikamaru until their faces were an inch apart. "Are you saying that you're smarter than me? Ha! I'm your superior, Nara. Don't forget it. Let's go Lee. …Lee? BAH!" She stomped off.

"…trouble—"

"DON'T SAY IT!"

Shikamaru sighed. For some reason, Hinata had become more troublesome than his mother recently. Just then, Lee entered the room.

"…is Hinata-san here?" He asked hesitantly.

"No."

Lee beamed, "HOW YOUTHFUL!"

Hinata came back into the room. "Let's go, Lee."

"Wh-what? B-but, Hinata-san…"

"I SAID LET'S GO!"

"…yes." Lee once again followed Hinata out of the room, head hung in shame.

Shikamaru sighed again, "_Troublesome…_" He thought.

"HEARD THAT!" Hinata yelled.

* * *

**Room Four**

_3:46pm_

Sasuke walked into room four, clearly looking for something. Sakura waved from her bed.

"Hey, Sasuke-kun."

He nodded in acknowledgement. At the same time, he also noticed Chouji's painted nails and braced himself.

"OH MY GOD. ITACHI!" Sasuke pulled out a throwing star. "Where is he?"

"Sasuke-kun. He's not here…" Sakura said as if she was talking to a deaf person.

"Hn." Sasuke left the room.

"…Well. That was random." Sakura said. She went back to reading her magazine. When Gaara walked into the room, she squealed. "Oh, Gaara!" She jumped on him. "I'm sorry…"

"Let. Go. Of. Me." Gaara spat out.

"Okay! Gosh!" Sakura complied. She suddenly gasped, "Gaara! You look like a panda bear!"

"…I look like _WHAT_?"

"Temper, panda-chan!"

Gaara couldn't stand Sakura any longer. He wanted to end her life right then and there. But, he also knew that wouldn't work on live television. He grabbed the first item he could see and ripped it apart…which happened to be Sakura's teddy bear.

"NO!" Sakura wailed, picking up the pieces. "NOT LOVETYLOVEBOOMBOOMCUTIEKINS! OH GOD. WHAT A WORLD…WHAT A WORLD…I CAN'T GO ON!" She punched Gaara in the face, crying loudly. Once again, Gaara's gourd didn't protect him from the blow.

"…sorry, Boss."

Gaara sighed heavily.

* * *

**Room Five**

_4:40pm_

"SHINO!" Temari yelled.

Shino sighed slowly, "What is it now?"

"…I want another pillow."

Shino promptly threw a pillow at Temari's face. It seemed to be an ordinary pillow…except for the fact that one of Shino's spiders was inside! Temari put her head on the pillow as she continued to watch her soap opera. A few minutes later, the spider crawled out onto her head.

"…Shino?"

"Hmm?"

"…is there a spider on my head?"

"Very much so."

"Oh." Temari said. She calmly walked out of the room and into the hallway. She stood there for a few seconds before yelling, "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! THERE'S A SPIDER ON MY HEAD! THIS IS WORSE THAN THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE!" Temari ran, screaming the entire way, until she reached Shikamaru's room. "SHIKAMARU!"

Shikamaru opened the door, sighing. "What—oh, Temari? What's wrong?"

"THERE'S A SPIDER ON MY HEAD!"

Upon squinting his eyes to see the miniscule spider, Shikamaru flicked it off of Temari's head. He smirked, "There you go."

She smiled, "Thank you, Shikamaru."

He shrugged in response. He went to close the door, when Temari suddenly hugged him around the neck. He was taken aback and stood there; unsure of what to do.

"Shikamaru…" She breathed.

"…yes?"

"YOU COULD AT LEAST HUG ME BACK, PEVERTED JERK!" Temari slapped Shikamaru and ran back to room five, crying.

"…troublesome."

* * *

**TV Segment of the Day**

"Hello, Konoha!" Kakashi said happily to the camera. "It's the end of day two. What a challenge we had today, yes? I'm going to go over how many points each contestant has so you know who to root for! Don't worry if your favorite isn't doing too well, there's another challenge later on this week. Here are the scores!

"Naruto Uzumaki: Fifteen points.

Sasuke Uchiha: Nine points.

Sakura Haruno: Six points.

Kiba Inuzuka: Fifteen points.

Shino Aburame: Twelve points.

Hinata Hyuuga: Three points.

Chouji Akimichi: Six points.

Shikamaru Nara: Three points.

Ino Yamanaka: Nine points.

Neji Hyuuga: Nine points.

Rock Lee: Three points.

Tenten: Fifteen points.

Gaara: Six points.

Temari: Twelve points.

Mr. Bugglesworth: Twelve points.

That concludes the scoring for today! Thank you for tuning into Toad Sage's Mansion, and I'll see you tomorrow! Bye now!"

* * *

**Author's note: **Thanks for reading. Next update will be up soon! Who should Lee pour disgusting milk on? Who are you rooting for to win?


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